There are videos of sex with mom in lawspiritual politics in iPhone colors.
Apple debuted the iPhone 11 on Tuesday, which comes in the standard black and white, as well as a ruby red, cool yellow, fresh green, and delicious purple.
Sure, we can think of these vibrant strips of plastic as an Apple marketing tool, meant to convince us all to drop the fattest of stacks upon something "new."
Or, we can hold this cynical perspective to be true, while also recognizing that our phones are our most intimate physical companions.
So if you are taken in by the new phone, and are therefore doing some soul-searching on which iPhone color is right for you, who better to consult than an expert in colors, souls, and energy? That's right: an aura reader.
"Even though picking your iPhone color is a fun, silly choice, it can have a bigger implication for questions like, why am I doing this?" said Megan Firester, a Florida aura reader who goes by Mystic Michaela. "It can reflect back to your larger energy situation."
SEE ALSO: Astrology apps are more popular than ever, but they're not very lucrative...yetAura readers say they can see colors around people, and that those colors represent a person's "energy."
"It’s an energy that surrounds us, and I see it in color," Firester explained. "It defines everything about you, from what motivates your decisions, to how you communicate, to jobs and health issues, and your overall vibe as a person."
Auras look like "three dimensional water color paintings," according to Deborah Hanekamp, aka New York's Mama Medicine, a healer who performs Medicine Rituals that involve aura readings and cleansing ceremonies. Aura readers interpret these energy fields in different ways, but most agree that certain colors have overarching vibes that can mean something different depending on the individual.
"Each color has its own set of unique and distinct characteristics," Firester said. "However, each person will wear it differently. It’s kind of like perfume."
When I asked these aura readers for help assessing iPhone colors, they each approached it in a different way. But overall, they agreed that the new iPhones had uncanny similarities to the well-roundedness of the aura color spectrum; Firester even noted that the colors of the new iPhones are the four out of the five main aura colors.
"It’s a pretty evened out color package," Hanekamp said. "This color group to me looks very peaceful, actually. There’s enough activity in there, there’s enough calming colors. It’s a good balance of productivity and receptivity."
Way to be spiritually balanced, Tim!
On an individual level, Firester thinks that the color choices we make reflect who we are, so that someone with a green aura is more likely to choose a green iPhone; listening to the color that draws you is a way of being true to your aura, and yourself.
Meanwhile, Hanekamp advised that colors represent different energies, so that being thoughtful about the color you choose for your phone could be a way to manifest the kind of energy you bring into your life.
Basically, if you're drawn to a color, go with it — just make sure you know what you're getting yourself into.
Here's the aura reader's guide to picking a new iPhone color.
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Green
Who is green?
Firester:Steve Jobs is green, Mark Zuckerberg is green, these people who make visionary changes to the world are green. The vibe is very intellectual, a bit loner, very systematic. They’ll be into phone specs, know how to use weird functions. They’re the ones with more than one weather app. They’re particular, that’s green people.
Who should choose green?
Hanekamp:I think that you would gravitate towards the green when you are looking for growth in life. Maybe spiritually, maybe professionally. But you’re ready to grow. That would be a good time to choose green.
Yellow
Who is yellow?
Firester: Yellows are very inquisitive and always busy. They’re accountants, directors, marketers, interior designers. They're super organized. They love self improvement, so they’ll use their phones a lot for that. They can’t have a minute where they’re not doing anything. They’re perfectionist, they’re scheduled, they’re very much into their phones. They like to stay productive, and they understand their tech.
Who should choose yellow?
Hanekamp:Yellow is a great color when we are wanting to really be clear on who we are, and what our purpose is in the world. Yellow is a color of purpose.
Red
Who is red?
Firester: They’re strong, they’re observant, they’re natural leaders. They have alpha energy, they’re really into teamwork, they like competition. Any job they do is goal oriented. They’re also passionate, they’re risk takers. So I see them as police, firefighters, real estate agents. Red people have this love-hate thing with their phone. They hate Siri, and they don’t like directions. But they’re always hustling, and using their phone for career movements.
Who should choose red?
Hanekamp: This color is actually a color of new love. It’s newfound love in life, new found romantic love, new love for where, who, and what you are. If you’re seeking your life partner, and you’re calling love into your life, I would choose this phone.
Purple
Who is purple?
Firester:They’re creative, intuitive, rebellious, they’re great energy readers, and don’t like to tell people what to do. They're free spirited, they feel things before they know them. They’re the ones who never have their phones charged, so they need a good battery. They always lose their phone. They always crack their phone. They’re abusive to their phone, but they do have the best photo filters. And a purple’s gotta look good. It’s more of an accessory.
Who should choose purple?
Hanekamp: Purple is a powerful color of spiritual energy and dreams. Our ability to think just beyond the material world. Our ability to feel like there’s something more out there. Purple is our color of spirituality.
With these color profiles, and a new lower price tag, the iPhone 11 is Apple's attempt at offering a phone for everyone. It will be available for pre-order on September 13, and will be released into the world, like digital doves, on September 20.
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