I didn’t expect to like Onward. But careening down an enchanted river aboard a giant cheesy puff with a pair of elves and gay sex video tumblrsome sentient legs, I had to admit I was having a great time.
Pixar’s latest journey takes audiences to New Mushroomton, a magical city where sprites, elves, and other mythical creatures exist but choose to live their lives with modern convenience. Why fly when there’s a freeway? Why cast an illumination spell when you've got lightbulbs? Who wants to be a mage when you could be… an accountant?!
It’s a cute premise, but not as instantly charming as some of the studio’s past and (based on what we know of Soul) upcoming projects. Casting Marvel elites Tom Holland and Chris Pratt as brothers Ian and Barley Lightfoot, Onward seemed to be doubling down on a safe bet. Capitalize on the sibling dynamicFrozen thawed out for Disney Animation, throw some elf ears on some A-list names, and call it a day. Suffice to say, my expectations were low.
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Then came the aquatic Cheeto, the dad who's just legs, the trash unicorns, and so much more.
Then came the aquatic Cheeto, the dad who's just legs, the trash unicorns, the evil Chuck E. Cheese, and so much more.
Rooted in the mundane, Onwardis surprisingly weird and wonderful. What begins as a standard coming-of-age road trip becomes a laugh-out-loud descent into goofiness that finds magic in unexpected places, elevating an occasionally bumpy narrative to consistent fun.
The film opens on the timid but ambitious Ian’s 16th birthday. He’s getting ready for school as his brother Barley plays yet another round of Quest of Yore, a Dungeons and Dragons-like tabletop game. Barley's on a gap year. It's not going well. The brothers are loving toward one another, but an obvious odd couple.
Through fitness-fanatic mom Laurel, played by the always great Julia Louis-Dreyfus, we learn about the boys' dad. He got sick before Ian was born, leaving Laurel to raise their sons on her own. It made Ian, Barley, and Laurel extremely close. Still, the missing fourth family member is felt profoundly, with his memories scattered across the Lightfoot home.
Before he died, Laurel reveals, Ian and Barley's dad wrapped a mysterious gift to be opened when both of his sons were 16. She fetches it from the attic in honor of Ian's birthday, and they discover that it's a powerful staff capable of bringing her husband back to their family for just one day.
Of course, things aren't as easy as all that. When Ian attempts the spell, the resurrection halts midway through, bringing back only his dad's legs. No ears, no mouth, no eyes. Just legs. That's when stuffgets fun.
In a race against time, the boys and the legs board Barley's valiant steed/shoddily restored van Guinevere to hunt down a "phoenix gem" and cast a spell for dad's upper half.
Through it all, their father's detached legs bumble behind them on a dog leash.
Through commonplace trials (like running out of gas) and fantastical tribulations (like escaping an enraged part scorpion, part lion played by Octavia Spencer), the boys learn what it means to accept yourself and appreciate the ones you love. Through it all, their father's detached legs bumble behind them on a dog leash.
Combining stellar visual comedy with memorable dialogue, Onward makes the most of every joke and bit on its path.
Even something as simple as pulling onto the highway becomes a standout moment, with a nervous Ian struggling to find his driving confidence and Barley courageously decreeing "You'll never be ready, MERGE!!" over an adventurous soundtrack to hilarious effect. (Full disclosure, this writer is terrified of merging so it may have resonated more for me than most.)
Pratt and Holland make for a loving vocal duo, oozing with audible affection, but voice acting veteran Mel Rodriguez steals the show as Laurel's cop boyfriend Colt Bronco. He's a centaur.
Guinevere, the mostly reliable hero of 'Onward' Credit: disney pixar With praise accounted for, it's fair to mention Onwarddoesn't deliver the emotional catharsis some Pixar fans will want. The movie’s menagerie of morals — be brave, trust your gut, cherish what you have — are delivered often. So often, their impact is weakened and the accompanying scenes undercut. When the big crying moments came, I recognized and appreciated them but my tear ducts took a pass. Still, I was touched enough.
As with all movies, Onward will resonate with moviegoers differently. For children of single parents, it's a poignant tribute to smaller families. For brothers and sisters, it's a warm look at the changing dynamics of siblinghood. For D&Dplayers, it's a chance to see a gelatinous cube on the big screen.
Some may prefer other Pixar tales more — Up is still my personal favorite — but Ian, Barley, and their dad's legs' story is a worthy addition to the studio's impeccable catalogue. I went in with doubt. Now, I can't wait to see it again. But this time I'm bringing Cheetos. And taking the freeway.
Onward is in theaters March 6.
Topics Pixar