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Conventions are ??? ??? ?????? ???? ?????? ??????? ????????strange, wondrous places. They attract people outfitted in wild costumes. They seem to make people believe they are great singers and dancers when they are not. Inevitably, convention-goers will walk by someone with a microphone babbling about something unintelligible.

The Republican National Convention began on Monday in Cleveland, Ohio. It will run through Thursday, and it is already clear it is going to be no different.

SEE ALSO: Trump's alma mater isn't exactly embracing him

Though the main attractions are speeches to be given by presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and his kin, there will be plenty of sideshows, such as a man walking around with another man on a leash, asking people to kick the man-dog.

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And a polar bear.

And the Council on American-Islamic Relations handing out "Islamophobin" gum.

And songs about "political correctness."

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And an appearance by way-former President Abraham Lincoln.

And ads on porta potties.

And trolling a rally speaker by asking him why "peepee comes out yellow."

And lots of dancers.

And a band of "bikers for Trump."

Also, there are a few guns, though that's not so unusual to Americans.

And... We'll add more as we see them.

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