It was Freddie Mercury's fondant icing chin that sent me over the edge.
That and uale sex porn videoDavid Bowie's cake bust, which looked more like a cross between Andrew Lloyd Webber and Ronald McDonald. The first episode of the 11th series of the Great British Bake Off, which aired on Tuesday,sent me into a spiral of uncontrollable laughter, the likes of which I haven't experienced since before the pandemic.
So, what was so funny, you might well be wondering? Well, where do I begin?
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Let's start with the technical challenge, when the contestants were asked to make pineapple upside-down cakes. Disaster struck when the challenge was over and the bakers began placing their finished cakes on the judging table. Sura was gesticulating wildly in a bid to waft away a fly when Dave was about to set down his bakes. Next thing you know, most of Dave's pineapple cakes had been swiped off the plate, plopping to the ground and landing cream-side down. Brings a new meaning to upside-down cakes, really.
I think I speak for the entire nation when I say, I screamed a mixture of "nooooooooo!" followed by nervous, incredulous shrieks of laughter. To add insult to Dave's upside-down cake injury, Sura only went and bloody came first in the technical challenge — leaving him in 9th place. I'd be fuming.
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A Bake Off disaster of this kind, whereby one contestant royally fluffs up another's bake accidentally, hasn't been seen since Iain's Baked Alaska meltdown in Season 1. Back then, Diana removed Iain's ice cream from the freezer without informing him, which resulted in a cake tin full of melted ice cream soup, which Iain threw in the bin in a fit of pique and walked out of the tent. He then presented the contents of the bin to the judges shortly before getting booted off the show.
But the emotions we felt in the nail-biting technical challenge were far surpassed when the bakers were asked to make a cake bust of a celebrity they admire. What could possibly go wrong? Everything, actually.
Just look at this artist's impression of David Bowie carved out of sponge cake and fondant icing. The hair looks like mashed swede. Not so much Thin White Duke, more like Thin Weird Lips.
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It's clear the bakers were 🎶Under Pressure🎶. And one cake that didn't withstand that pressure was the cake bust of Freddie Mercury. His head caved in.
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The drama wasn't over for Sura after upside-down-cake-gate. In a weird twist of, dare we say, Karma, her cake bust of Sir David Attenborough rolled off its perch and dangled perilously close to the edge of the work station. Thankfully for Sura, it narrowly avoided falling onto the floor. Dave, did you do this?
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As for this tribute to Louis Theroux..... is that you Jürgen Klopp?
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Now, of course, I mean no disrespect to the bakers who put heaps of energy, effort, and time into their cake busts. I just.........can't stop laughing?
So, thank you Bake Offfor giving me the best chuckle of 2020 so far. I needed it.