Ever since Iron Manreminded us that Robert Downey Jr is best sex tabboo videoshandsome enough to pull off that beard and playboy smarm and still be fine, audiences have been thirsty for superheroes. (I hear there were occasionally some comic book movies made before 2009, too?)
But with Avengers: Endgamecame the end of an era: the end of Steve Rogers’s perfect pecs, of GIFable Stark Spangled Banneronscreen moments, of certain Avengers’ time in the sexy sun.
And with the absolute flood of Marvel Cinematic Universe announcements at San Diego Comic-Con over the weekend, there’s a list of new stars for the stans to obsess over for the next few years.
From familiar faces returning unexpectedly (hello to a Mjolnir-wielding Natalie Portman) and potential pairings with established characters (i.e. shipping Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie with everyone) to confirmed rumours (The Handmaid’s Talesnack O-T Fagbenle and David Harbour bringing your favourite TV DILF energies to Black Widow) and surprise big names joining the MCU (MA-HER-SHA-LA, SAY IT WITH ME), there’s someone for everyone to thirst after.
And the internet had wasted no time in lovingly, respectfully, objectifying them.
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SEE ALSO: Marvel's Phase Four is why it's exciting that 'Avengers' beat the 'Avatar' box officeStandout newcomer Simu Liu may well have snagged his role as Shang-Chi by @-ing Marvel on Twitter and constantly being shirtless on Kim’s Convenience...
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But even as he fronted the Marvel crowds in Hall H, he also respected the proud tradition of thirsting after MCU stars.
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Meanwhile, his press appearances for Stubershowed us that Kumail Nanjiani was already on his Marvel training regime...
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...but at the official announcement for The Eternals, people NOTICED.
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And of course, the first announced film of Phase 5, a new version of Blade, had fans, well, fanning themselves at the thought of Mahershala Ali stalking around wearing what will probably be a fair amount of leather.
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Some fans are even further ahead of the game, though. Looking into their crystal balls to the Online Thirst Discourse of 2020, they foresee a chilling future where the internet's long-appreciated boyfriends and wives are finding a whole new fanbase who are only just catching up with Marvel's help — including revealed Eternalsstar Richard Madden.
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Alright, let's drink a glass of water. This was a lot.
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