Sitting across from my friend in my favourite coffee shop,flikr sex video I began reciting the story of yet another Tinder failure. This time, it was the tale of the Tinder tourist.
A Tinder tourist: Someone who uses Tinder when visiting a new city or town. For some, it's a way to enjoy fun and casual hookups during a short trip. But if you find yourself unwittingly embroiled in a fling with a Tinder tourist, it can be nothing short of infuriating.
SEE ALSO: The internet baes who 'breadcrumb' you and never meet you in personI had unknowingly been talking to a Tinder tourist. And I didn't want to be a part of his plan to have an ephemeral fling while he was visiting London. After days of talking to him, he asked me to meet at a farmer's market in the middle of a weekday. When I told him I couldn't make the 40 minute journey across London because I was working, he was disappointed."Maybe this weekend?" I mooted as a compromise. It was then that he explained that he actually lives in Alaska, and was only in London until Wednesday. Cool. Message after message arrived in my inbox, each time suggesting another date during my working day.
He just wanted a tour guide with a little action on the side.
He was a Tinder tourist. And just like all Tinder tourists, he didn't really want a date. He wanted a tour guide, with a little action thrown in on the side. Perhaps I should've been more fun, but I felt duped—tricked into wasting my precious time talking to someone who just wanted a quick hookup during his travels. What a colossal waste of my time.
Not everyone shares my lack of enthusiasm for Tinder tourism. Graphic artist Andrea—who prefers to only give her first name— says she's hooked up with Tinder tourists, and even developed friendships afterwards. "I've met up with people who were visiting the city I live in just for a day or a weekend," says Andrea. "There are some people who I ended up good friends with. And I stayed with one when I visited their city after I hosted him in my city." Her experiences haven't always been positive. She was reminded on other occasions that "these dates were part of someone's vacation and you, by extension, were part of their vacation," she said. "On the other hand, there are people who were there like a flash, in and out—take that how you will—and then gone."
Credit: Shutterstock / nito Andrea says, in her experience, Tinder tourism is a good way to get a more "intimate" experiences while travelling, but it comes with emotional and physical risks.
"As long as both people know the situation and lay down the ground rules—like whether or not you'll stay in touch—there shouldn't be anything wrong with it," Andrea said.
Louise Parker—a publicist based in London—dabbled in a spot of Tinder tourism when she was on holiday in Bali recently. She sees it as "a very positive thing" and recommends meeting in a public place and exercising caution.
"We were in Seminyak just before peak season so it was really quiet in a lot of the bars; a couple of swipes and chats on Tinder later and we found the liveliest bar and had one of our best nights there," says Parker.
Parker didn't disclose her Tinder tourist status straight away. But, she noticed that a lot of guys put "Aussie in Bali for the weekend" in their bios.
"What was so handy was just their recommendations, they seemed very happy to just share the places they had a good night at and where to avoid," Parker said.
"It might be heartbreaking when you eventually have to leave."
Sex and relationships YouTuber Hannah Witton is in agreement with Parker: "Of course it's okay to be a Tinder tourist," said Witton. "It's a great way to get to know the new city you're in and meet some locals!"
Witton says she usually discloses her status as a Tinder tourist in her bio. "When I want to use Tinder in a new country or city, I'll have my usual bio + 'British girl in New York,'" says Witton. She's also found that to be an excellent conversation starter.
Witton says there are loads of benefits to being a Tinder tourist, such as finding cool places to eat and drink that aren't in the guidebook, and meeting new friends or lovers.
"The only disadvantage I can think of is if you spark an intense romance. It might be heartbreaking when you eventually have to leave," Witton says.
It goes without saying there are some obvious dos and don'ts. If you find yourself in conversation with a Tinder tourist, think carefully about how you want to proceed. If you're up for an ephemeral fling and showing someone around your city, then dive straight in. But if you're looking for something more serious and long-term, it might not be for you.
And if you find yourself swiping in a new city or country, make sure you disclose your Tinder tourist status in your bio, or in a message. After all, no matter where you are, or what language you speak, shadiness is a Tinder turn-off the world over.
While you might just be visiting a place far from home, the virtues and attractiveness of honesty never get old.
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