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The porn videos of slender girls having sexpresident has spoken, and fat flavored clouds are in his crosshairs.

In a conversation with reporters today at the White House, Donald Trump shared his highly developed thoughts about the scourge of flavored vape products. And, surprise, the man who believes he shouldn't exercise because it will drain his life force thinks flavored vapes are bad news and is considering banning them.

"A lot of people think vaping is wonderful, it's great," Trump said. "It’s really not wonderful."

Vapes are back in the news as a recent spate of seemingly vape-related illnesses has sparked concern from medical professionals across the country. Although, it should be noted, the dangerous vapes in question are thought to include some unregulated marijuana vape pens — not just e-cigarettes.

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According to Alex Azar, the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services, the specifics of the ban will take several weeks to put together. Once they have been released, it will become effective in 30 days — taking all vape flavors, except tobacco, off the market.

The plan would let manufacturers of flavored vapes apply for FDA approval in 2020.

"It's not a wonderful thing," insisted Trump of #vapelife. "It's got big problems we’ve got to find out the extent of the problem."

Indeed, a troubling increase in teen vaping has been well documented over the past few years. Flavored e-cigarettes are believed to be a contributing factor.

The president went on to explain his familial connection to the issue, noting that Melania Trump has a particular reason to be concerned about vaping.

"She’s got a son," he said of the First Lady, according to White House pool reports. "She feels very strongly about it."

The president was referring to Melania Trump's most recent pet cause, summed up in a Sept. 9 tweet.

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"I am deeply concerned about the growing epidemic of e-cigarette use in our children," she wrote. "We need to do all we can to protect the public from tobacco-related disease and death, and prevent e-cigarettes from becoming an on-ramp to nicotine addiction for a generation of youth."

That Trump would move to ban flavored e-cigarettes and not, say, actual tobacco (which kills more than 8 million people every year) may seem counterproductive to some. But hey, counterproductive is Trump's brand.

So stock up on those Mint JUUL pods now, or be forever cursed with flavorless fat clouds.